Thankful

According to my Duoling app, which I have been using to practice my Romanian every day since I was first admitted to hospital, I have been here for 43 days.  Today is Canadian Thanksgiving and amidst the Facebook posts of cottage time, family gatherings, and delicious food, I have decided that it is time to reflect on what I am grateful for these days while I am here at Sunnybrook.

First of all, since I have to be in a hospital somewhere, I am very glad that is only a five minute drive from our house.  Alex is able to visit me twice a day.  The coffee he brings me from home sets the tone of the day.  Even though those morning visits are short, I look forward to them.  He then comes in the evening either straight from work or after he has first stopped off at home.  If he has no business meetings or pressing duties at the house (cat, chores etc), then we watch something on Netflix.  It is almost like being at home.  He also keeps me well stocked with greek yogourt, cottage cheese, fresh-cut flowers, and berries.  Bless him and his little cotton socks as Heidi would say.  My room smells like strawberries right now and I couldn't be happier about that.  Today's lunch was a turkey dinner of sorts. 

I appreciate the effort to make it sort of festive, and I snapped a photo.   Not my mother's home cooking by a long shot, but a kind gesture for those of us who are in the hospital over a holiday.  I admit that I ate less than half of it.  😕

I look forward to the check-ins from the nurses that take place four times a day.  I get to hear Baby G's heartbeat and get virtually constant reassurance that she is healthy and thriving in there despite my situation and the food that I get here.  I also have the added bonus of seeing her weekly on ultrasound.  I didn't realize how few ultrasounds were given to regular women with low-risk pregnancies.  

This morning, Alex came early in order to be able to be there for today's growth ultrasound.  The baby is now 4.6 pounds!  I am so happy and so relieved.  That is pretty big for High-Risk Obstetrics.  Now I just have to wait for her to continue to get fatter, and for her brain and lungs to continue to mature.  

After that, we went outside for some air. 

They don't let me leave the floor by myself so I am always grateful when someone visits who can take me and a wheelchair to the courtyard area behind the H-Wing.  There are some picnic benches and park benches, some green space and some flowers sandwiched between a parking lot and some of the older buildings that make up this hospital.

Alex sleeps over on Saturdays, but all other nights and most of every day, however, I am by myself in my room.  I go for small walks after meals to help control my blood sugar, and very occasionally I hang out in the patient lounge for a change of scenery, but generally I stay in my room.  Yes I have plenty of books to read, and I do read them, and puzzles and magazines and, when all else fails, images for coloring and extra fine markers.  These things, combined with my newly-discovered ability to crochet, somehow pass the day.  Many people have advised me to enjoy this opportunity to rest, sleep, and read because I won't have any time to do these things after the baby comes.  The sentiment is well-meant, and I know where they are coming from, but only someone who had never been in the hospital for weeks or months at a time would say something like that.  No one would choose to spend her entire third trimester here.  I feel fine but what I am allowed to do is severely restricted.  I stare at the same four walls almost all the time and almost never see the sky.  It is a sacrifice I'm willing to make in order to give my daughter the best chance at optimal health when she is born, and Alex and I would do it again, and again.

There is a whiteboard in the room that never gets used for anything so I write the date on it every day, and add some goals and quotes. 

It helps me focus a bit and help me remember some of the things that I wanted to get done.  

32 weeks and 5 days.  Signing off now.  As always, thanks for reading.

Leslie